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My Beliefs.... #2: Strong Believer, Legends Exist For A Reason

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Jul. 18th, 2005 | 07:53 pm
mood: contemplativecontemplative
music: "SS Deathstar Supergalactic"
posted by: lilitheraine in moonlightwings

Alright, seeing as though fuckeu went into detail, I might as well too.

I am a strong believer. I DO believe that Legends exist for a reason and I believe that in Legends, as farfetched as they seem to be, there is truth there, it's just twisted and manipulated. A legend start out as a story, about a quest or a lesson to be taught. Then the person who first heard it tells it to someone else, then they tell that story to someone else and so on and so forth. The farther down the line the story is sent, details change. Some details are minor, others are major and can change the story completely. But again, no matter how many details are changed, the plot should remain the same and the same lesson might be learned. No matter how screwy it sounds, there is a moral to it. A truth.

Mind you, it is said that even Polytheistic deities were possibly based off of real people. However, real people dont go walking around, donning a Jackal-head upon their shoulders like Anubis, being dpeicted as a man with a Jackal's head. Also, maybe Thoth walked like an Ibis, the animal whose head he bore. Ibis are often seen standing upright, alert and astute. Thoth was the God of Writing.... astute like a scribe. Hence maybe that's where the Ibis head came from. Maybe Bubastis was as motherly and watchful as a female feline. Gentle yet firm, and furocious when angry.

As for the Greek/Roman Deities, mainly Zeus, as far as shape-shifting goes...... it is said that if one is to attain a certain Ethereal/meta-physical level of themselves, or attain a certain power of magick, they can perform shape-shifting in some way, shape or form. And we see ourselves performing animalistic antics on occasion..... meowing, screeching, tackling, things like that. Maybe we cant ignore our animal origins but still, we walk upright. Why is it that we still crawl about, acting like animals, making their noises? Sometimes hunters crawl around wearing grass blankets over them for camouflage, that's animalistic..... a "wolf in sheep's clothing" if you will. Zeus took the form of many animals and had multiple lovers through those shape-shifting occasions, despite Hera's wrath. He took the form of a goose, a golden shower, a Satyr and many other forms such forms. (( By the way, when I said Golden Shower, I didnt mean the fetish ))

Vampires, werewolves and a few other Mythical Creatures shape-shift often, maybe on a daily basis. And sometimes that's run a little bit close to home with me.

My friend Caleb has had many an occasion where he's woke up, with his clothes torn, a few dead rabbits in the garden from time to time, fresh mud on his shoes, etc that indicate some activity during the night, although he remembers going to bed. However, he's had dreams where he's gone outside, did running around in the wild, through the woods, mud, did some hunting and then woke up back in his bed. There was a few times where he's woken up in his car, even though he climbed into bed the night prior. One would say he's just sleepwalking, but when you dream that you kill a rabbit and then find a dead rabbit on your lawn, that says something. Either this guy is a good shot while he's fast asleep or he's a shape-shifter. Personally, I'd rather believe the latter.

As for me, I'm cat-like. While I prefer snakes and horses, I feel I am most like a cat. I've lived around cats my whole life, I meow like them, hiss on occasion, and while I dont have perfect agility or balance or coordination, I can be quick, light on my feet, and protective if I have to be.

However, there are other actions I do that lead me to believe that I may be something other than totally human. Call me crazy, but this is why I believe as such.

I had a dream once. Early my senior year, this dream consisted of my looking at a man, dressed in a long, red coat, he has long brown hair, green eyes and fair skin. He keeps looking at me as if he's beckoning me to him with bedroom eyes. I fell for it. I blink, in my dream, and the next thing I know, I'm in this man's arms, I feel very cold, wet and sticky. I hear him say "Now you're one of us." It was then that I realized this man was a vampire and he has just literally taken a chunk out of my neck. I cant remember if I looked up at him or not but I DO recall him having a third eye, in the centre of his forehead, with red tribal markings all around it. For some reason, I got the impression that Red meant "Leader."

Next in my dream, I'm conscious of my canines getting a little sharper, if not longer. I'm in a cabin-like building with several of my friends and I can easily see Rosemary and Amanda's faces. They're looking at me and i can tell they know what I'm thinking. They knew I was changing, yet at the same time, they werent scared of me. They knew I wasnt about to drink the blood of a friend or family member. I wouldnt. However, I notice that outside, there's snow on the ground and the sun is sinking behind the tree line..... it appears as if it's mid-to-late November, month-wise. I look at my friends and, not just me, Rosemary and Amanda, but everyone got this horrible, gut-wrenching feeling that something bad was going to happen. No sooner than it dawns on us, we all hear this blood-curdling scream coming from outside.

We all rush outside and we see the same man as before, with several of his clan-members, rushing about, killing people with no intent to turn them into vampires. The dream ends with that man looking at me.

Then I woke up and practically didnt know where I was. My room was black, I thought my eyes were still closed.

Now, why do I think I might've (( or still am becoming )) the vampire that that man, supposedly his name is Maika, turned me into? Well, let me state the facts.....

I'm pale. Everybody knows this. I'm part Irish, and that part of my heritage shows very easily through my flesh. I'm so pale that you can easily make out the veins on my body, more so specifically on my stomach. I can easily see one major vein that runs up from my groin, and splits at about halfway between my lower belly and ribcage into 4 or more large capillaries. When I go out into the sun, if I'm lcuky I'll only get pink. Usually this happens when I am wearing a sleeveless top and no Oxford shirt over that. If it's bad enough and I'm outside just long enough, I come back inside and I have a dark pink, dark brown freckles and then immedately white, because a part of my skin didnt get burned.

Then again, everybody sunburns. Yeah but that's not the point. The fact is, I dont tan. I get burned and then it fades. I dont tan anymore, hell I only tanned once before in my life and that was when i was 7 years old, after I got badly charred and peeled in chunks big enough for a cannibal to eat. Not kidding.

I normally go out at night. I'm also a nightowl. When the weather gets hot and sunny, I'm usually inside until the sun goes down. At least I wont need my sunglasses, which I sometimes have to wear in winter because of the snow reflecting light from the cloudy sky. I wear dark colours, especially in the winter, black especially because it keeps me warm enough, I look good in it and I like its universal companionship with other colours. But of course, I get labeled "Goth" or "Satanic" for it. Big whoop.

We have a book at Hot Topic called "The Vampires Encyclopedia." I've picked it up on several occasions and some things just seem to stick to me. To become a vampire, it spoke of if you practice witchcraft, it *betters* your chances at becoming one. A predisposition to becoming a vampire would be suckling after being weaned or being weaned too early. I dont know whether or not I was weaned early or I suckled afterwards, but from what my mother has told me, I bit when I breast-fed.

Another thing about vampires is that they exert a strong sexual appeal. Umm, I may still be a virgin but, while I'm not meaning to brag, I seem to attract a lot of compliments, and many involve words like "sexy". I go to clubs, and it seems like I attract a lot of attention. Does it make me feel uncomfortable? No...... but really, from what the book says, maybe it's just a small hint.

Also, this book says that not all vampires need blood. In my case, I need to have meat daily. If I dont get meat, I just dont know exactly what goes on. I love the feeling of tearing into meat with my teeth. It just fills me up where soup or salad wont. True, I fill up quick, but still. I like my meat. And on nights when i can see the moon, usually a full moon, it feels like my craving for meat increases.

Maybe it's al in my head, but still.

There are reasons why I am a #2, some strong points which I have listed above and other reasons that a doctor would claim as borderline insanity. I hope to see beliefs and 'technologies' get better at detecting what is unknown to us now, and maybe we could classify people as a certain being, if one's mind were open enough to embrace it.

Who knows.

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